Creating Obscure Red Sox Shirts

I have often thought it would be fun to wear obscure Red Sox t-shirt jerseys. Everyone has a Red Sox shirt.  You see Jonathan Papelbon, Jacoby Ellsbury, Dustin Pedroia and David Ortiz.  I’m looking for some Dennis Lamp-type action.  You can make them too, but MLB.com has some pretty specific rules as to which you must follow:

Guidelines for Customization

• League player names must match current team rosters and the team for which they currently play
• Retired player names cannot be printed on the team’s jersey from which they retired
• Both adult and youth jerseys hold up to 12 characters
• Characters accepted: capital A-Z (name field only); 0-9 (number field only); spaces
• Each space counts as one (1) character
• Language deemed inappropriate, derogatory, or profane will not be accepted

Despite the ‘retirement’ rule, there are still a ton of players you can create if you don’t mind paying the $35 price tag (including shipping). My first instinct is to start sporting some of the 2004 team that fans are probably already forgetting about. You think a Curtis Leskanic t-shirt might turn some heads?

It would… but you are out of luck. Leskanic retired a Red Sox after closing out his journeyman career with a World Series ring. He was credited with the Game 4 win against the New York Yankees in the ALCS and never pitched again. Today, Leskanic is a professional scout for the Red Sox organization.

Or how about Cesar Crespo? 

No?   C’mon, he was pretty popular…

Adam Hyzdu would be pretty funny.

Funny, but stupid. Don’t buy that.

There are a handful of even more obscure 2004 Red Sox players, but honestly, I doubt 95% of Red Sox fans even knew they were on that team. Guys like Phil Seibel, Pedro Astacio, Andy Dominique, Mark Malaska and Ricky Gutierrez are so random that anyone who saw you in it wouldn’t even get the joke. They would just figure it was your own last name.

Speaking of which, it’s lame if you get your last name on a jersey, unless you share a last name with a real player. Everyone knows that there is no one named ‘Capuano’ on the Red Sox wearing number ‘1′. And no, you are not number ‘1′. You’re just lame.

Anyway, I think I am just going to go old school, 1990-style and just get a Dana Kiecker jersey.

Obscurity is where it’s at.  Forget the Josh Beckett jerseys.  Do it up right.

Darryl Johnston is the Red Sox correspondent for Fanball.com. He has many years of sports writing under his championship belts. Email him – redsoxdj@gmail.com

Tags: Adam Hyzdu, Andy Dominique, Boston Red Sox, Cesar Crespo, Curtis Leskanic, Dana Kiecker, Darryl Johnston, David Ortiz, Dustin Pedroia, Fanball, Fenway Park, Jacoby Ellsbury, Jon Lester, Jonathan Papelbon, Josh Beckett, Mark Malaska, New York Yankees, Pedro Astacio, Phil Seibel, Ricky Gutierrez, Sox Tea Party